Oh How the Mighty Fall
by Irhaboggles
Summary: You hated yourself so much, Lena, that you adored and worshipped her, so what happens when you find out she isn't the goddess you think she is? I think I know exactly what you will do, Lena, and it is exactly what I want you to. You have become my next plan to bring the Girl of Steel to her knees and this time, you are my weapon of choice.


You hated yourself, Lena. You hated yourself so much that everyone else became good, pure, noble, kind and righteous in your eyes. Without even meaning to, you elevated them over yourself because you saw yourself as so lowly and despicable. You hated yourself so much that you raised everyone else up around you while you cast yourself down. Everyone else became better than you in your eyes. You made two mistakes there. You underestimated yourself and overestimated everyone else, and in that, you created a massive (and false) chasm and you set yourself up for failure from the very beginning. The worst of all was Kara Danvers.

You hated yourself so much that she became a goddess to you, capable of doing no wrong. She was everything you wanted to be. She was your morals and ideals made flesh. You hated yourself so much that you adored and worshipped her. Kara became everything you loved, all you aspired to be and thought you were not. She became everything good in the world and whether or not this image was actually accurate did not matter to you. All that mattered was that Kara represented all the good in the world, your goals and everything you ever wanted. You were making this false idol of her, committing the sin of making man into god, and you set yourself up for failure from the beginning. That's the danger of idealizing people rather than seeing them for who they truly are, flaws and all, even if it isn't pretty.

Even if Kara did indeed have flaws and faults, you denied and ignored them. You paid attention only to the Kara that you wanted to see. You ignored the real thing for the fantasy you created in your desperate, troubled, little mind. You raised her up too high. You made her pedestal too grand. She was never the flawless goddess you thought she was, but you were too scared to face the truth, so instead you hid behind her golden veneer and continued to raise her up higher and higher and higher.

In a vicious circle, your self-loathing allowed you to see Kara as being better than she actually was. In response, you would raise her high. In response, you would see Kara as even better than she was before. This would increase your self-loathing. You raised Kara up as you cast yourself down. You saw yourself as a demon fighting to escape Hell. You saw her as a holy and righteous hero, and angel from Heaven, coming down to help you up. As sweet as such an idea is, it was only ever a lie. You set yourself up for failure from the very beginning.

You made the fatal mistake of overestimating her and trying to make her like a god when she was but a mortal. You put her on a pedestal, but that pedestal was far too high. Didn't they ever warn you not to make men into gods? Didn't they ever warn you that idolatry was a sin? Didn't they ever warn you that lies would never last? Didn't they ever warn you that it's too good to be true? Didn't they ever warn you that idealism leads to disillusionment? Didn't they ever warn you that no human was ever as good or perfect as they seemed? Didn't they ever warn you that dreams could be dangerous when you lose sight of reality within them? And most importantly, didn't they ever warn you that the bigger they are, the harder they fall? So why, then, did you put her on so high a pedestal?

But you remained blind and continued to raise Kara up in your heart and mind. That flawless pedestal upon which you placed this false idol grew higher and higher every day, just like your denial. Then finally, that undeserved pedestal came crashing down. It collapsed into ashes and dust. Your pride, your blindness, finally caught up with you and it cost you dearly. You built Kara up so high that when she came crashing back down, the impact destroyed you. Chaos and debris scattered across your world and plunged it into death and despair. It was like a rug pulled out from under your feet. Kara's pedestal was ripped down right after it. She crashed and burned, and so did you. Your lies caught up with you.

You hated yourself, Lena. You hated yourself so much that Kara became inhumanly perfect in your eyes. That was your biggest mistake. In your self-loathing, you believed that you were at the lower end of humanity and you subsequently placed Kara at the top. What happens, then, when you learn that this is an inaccurate placement? What happens, then, when you learn that after all this time, you've only ever been believing in a lie? Not in the one Kara told you, but in the one you created and then refused to disbelieve even when the truth was standing right in front of you? Kara was not the flawless goddess you hoped she was. That Kara never existed. She was only just a figment of your imagination. So what happens when you finally see the real Kara, rather than the deceptively beautiful one your created? What are you left with? Nothing! And no one…

You always were so hard on yourself. In response, even though you didn't even know it, you then became too generous with everyone else and made false idols of them. Are you surprised, then, that their pedestals finally all came crashing down? Are you surprised to find out that your angels are demons too? You are foolish for forgetting. You are foolish for thinking they were perfect. They were only ever human, just like you, yet you were so hard on yourself that you were soft on them and it distorted your views of them. You hated yourself so much that you loved them, and they became perfect in your sights, even though they were never the flawless deities you thought (and perhaps hoped) that they were.

So now what, Lena? Now what? Now that you know the truth, and now that Kara's pedestal has finally come crumbling down, what will you do next? You have to face the reality you tried to deny for so long. You are left in the ruins and wake of that disastrous collapse, still wiping the blood and dust off your face as _That_ Kara's shattered remains lie around you. You stand shakily, trying to get your bearings. The pedestal has fallen and it brought _That _Kara down with it. You are devastated and lost. Your life has been leveled too. You built that pedestal far too high and when it finally came falling back to Earth, you fell from grace right along with it and hit the ground hard. The bigger they are, the harder they fall.

So what will you do with the reality that you have left? I think I already know, and that's exactly why I told you that Kara Danvers is Supergirl. I know exactly what you will do, Lena, and it is exactly what I want you to. You have become my next plan to bring the Girl of Steel to her knees and this time, you are my weapon of choice. I may not be around to see it, but I think I know exactly what you'll do, so I think I can safely say that I have already won. Oh how the mighty fall, Lena. First me, brought to my death at your hands. Then you yourself, brought to your knees at Kara's. Now all that's left is for you to bring Kara to her death by your hand, and I think you will do it. You hate yourself too much to not.

I have seen how you treat the people that you hate. I think I can safely say that you will not allow Kara Danvers to remain. Your nature just won't allow it. You will not tolerate a broken humanity. You will try to fix them all. And you will try to end Supergirl. You will want revenge, and you will get it. I know you will, because you built that pedestal up so high that when it finally came crashing back down, what else did you expect except to be left back at the very start? What else did you expect except to be left back with what you had at the beginning: self-loathing? Only now, that hatred has extended to Kara too… I will not be around to see it, but I wish I could! Because oh, how the mighty will fall!

**AN: I have a theory that Lena's esteem is so low she automatically raises everyone else up in her mind, so when they let her down, it's bad!**

**I also have a theory that Lena feels betrayed by Kara's secret not just because it means that Kara lied to her, but because it ruins her illusion of Kara. Now that she knows the truth, she knows that the Kara she loved and admired never even existed. That's 3 years wasted.**

**And this is also writing out the headcanon that Lex didn't just tell Kara's secret in order to hurt Lena, but that he did it in order to create their rivalry in S5 because he's hoping Lena will finally snap and finish his work.**


End file.
